Cunning Plan
I was out hunting with a young German Lad recently, half my age this kid Eric was, well as much as people half my age are kids these days. Eric was on a working/holiday for a year or so and helping out for a couple of weeks with his girlfriend down the road at Gary&Barbaras, anyway I meet him at the their place before sun-up, we had with us my old dogs (Bitches) Ming, Lu and Puk (the holder), up through the Mahoe, Manuka, Rangiora and Punga to a wallow I always check out when in the area, Ming was loose and out on the find today, the other two on leads, plenty of Red skins (Deer) around this place, in-fact more deer than pigs around these days. Ming had disappeared a while back, soon she could be heard bailing around the face, not a very convincing bail, and I should have known better than to let the other girls off their leads, soon there could be heard quite a bail going on and when me and Eric turned up Ming&Lu were harassing a huge stinking big Billy Goat, Puk on the other hand wasn't having any part of it. I really was getting sick of these Goat chewing Mongrels, but as usual Ming, with puk's help, did redeem herself later by finding and stopping a 70lb boar. But really I was sick of them dragging me into the most shitty bluffly god forsaken places to find them with some stinking old Billy.
On arriving home I forked out for some flash shock collars for the dogs, they duly arrived in the post, I had really had enough of these Pot licking, Goat chewers, and were these mongrels in for a shock, I would show them alright the next time they decided to grab a Goat it would be the Don King hairdo for them. So I hatched a cunning plan, I would show them and so we set out the other morning to find Mr Goat with Ming&Lu wearing the new collars, how hard could it be, these useless pot licking, Goat chewing mongrels didn't seem to be having any trouble finding them when we were looking for pigs, so surely if I actually tried to find a Goat, that would be easy right! right!
This day had been coming for a while and I was going to straiten them out and the hair on their backs as well, I had the perfect gully lined up, loaded with stinking goats, we hit the beach before day break, in-fact a little to early, the Goat chewing pot lickers leapt ashore along with the two pups Jude&Chi coming along for some training as well, into the dirty dark Goat filled gully they sprang and before I could drag the boat up the beach and tie it up the sound of bailing could be heard, gottya I thought, my cunning plan had worked perfectly, now just to climb up and make sure it was a goat, as having made the mistake before of righting the Goat chewers off, I thought I had better give them the benefit of the doubt. I stepped into the native, tripping over some supplejack and falling flat on my face, it was dark as the inside of a Goat in the native, I couldn't see a thing, fumbling around under the Hinau and Kohekowhe I switched on my head lamp, then set off with shock unit in hand, my thumb hovering over the shock button. The bailing sounded a little hard for a goat, but then maybe they were scrapping a big billy, then a squeal, I couldn't believe my ears, this Goat was squealing like a pig, this was the first time I had ever heard that and then it dawned on me the bloody Goat chewers had grabbed a pig just to spite me, a small boar around 70lb it turned out, by the time I got there he was well and truly held, I stuck him and then lots of pats and praise for my Girls, saying I never doubted them for a minute, I really was starting to wonder if these dogs had out smarted me again, surely not, I gutted the boar and dragged it down to the water for pick up later, off we went, we had other fish to fry, or Goats to chew in this case, I new another place just around the corner with plenty of goats, once again off the boat they jumped, straight up the hill to the waiting goats, or so I hoped, they keep climbing though, 200m and climbing, 300m, 400m, I thought I had better follow, and anyway I needed a run, or so these Goat chewers seemed to think, soon the sweat was dripping off me, the country around here is steep, and thats why the goats love it. Looking at the tracker they were now 600m away, straight up almost, and leaving me behind, was this some kind of joke, at-least they had stopped climbing and now had started siddlling, up I climbed and when I next took a look at the tracker they had disappear over a ridge, two ridges away know-less, I thought bugger this I'm going back to the dingy, 15/20 minutes later I was on the water, flying along, around to the beach below the gully the mongrel Goat hunters had dropped into. I soon had them on the tracker, but much to my disgust they had stopped half way up the hill, a hill the Ozzy's would call a mountain, they had stopped in the creek and from here it looked like a creek from the lost world, they obviously had something bailed and looking at the country it had Goat written all over it. I had them this time I thought, my thumb again hovering over the shock button, but unlike some I believe in innocents till proven guilty, and after my earlier set-up I now had my doubts about these Goat chewers, maybe these Girls were onto my cunning plan and now making fun of me, but what were the chances of them finding another pig in this Goat infested gully, none at all I thought, but before I hit the button I had better make sure. I dragged the boat ashore and started the climb, 20 minutes later and a lot of sweating and puffing the sound of bailing could be heard, in I crept, what a shit spot, deep gorgie creek, that never saw the light of day most of the year, the dogs eventually sensing I was close had picked up the tempo, which was strange as usually if they have a Goat bailed the tempo slowed or stops completely when I got near, I then set about parting some Gigi and supple jack to have a look at what was going on below down in the creek, bugger me, there was a sow around 70lb sitting down in the creek, obviously trying to defend her self from the snapping dogs, I decided to shoot her as the dogs had had her for a while and she may not have survived if I let her go. Lots of pats and a few treats for the dogs, heart, liver, kidneys, the Goat chewers had out smarted me again, and I got to thinking that $1000 I spent on those shock collars was the best money, I didn't need to spend, that I ever had.
