"The God Father" Part 1

My God Son Xavier was on his way for Easter, along with his father Shaun, who, in all his wisdom had made me the God Father of Xavier. I had been discussing this with some friends the other day before he arrived (yes I still have a couple left, but not for long after this story) I was informed a God Father is responsible for the God Sons spiritual guidance, "this must be some kind of a sick joke" I thought, they have the wrong man here, even the mention of the word God! Which by the way is Dog spelt backward, makes me snigger,  whenever I hear people talking about God and or Religion, the saying "you've been sold a pup" always comes to mind, and being responsible is something entirely alien to me, my whole life has been about avoiding responsibility, and I might add it is one of the few things I have become quite good at, but then a couple of scenes from the movie 'The God Father' flashed across my mind, hookers, money, huge piles of drugs, sure it didn't end well, but what does! Maybe this might not be such a bad a gig after all.

Xavier and Dad were down last Easter, the weather was against us then and we had no luck catching a pig. All we ended up doing, was basically chasing dogs, that were chasing Deer, all over the surrounding hills, the useless mongrels even managed to chase one into the drink, it was floundering around in the shallows with 2 dogs attached when we arrived, I jumped out of the boat grabbed it while kicking the dogs off, cursing at them, while slipping a knife in through its ribs, suddenly the water turned red, Shaun chirps up, "the kid will need some therapy after watching that bloodthirsty episode", I'm thinking the only one needing therapy here is Dad, altho a life times subscription of Valium might suffice. Xavier though wanted a pig this year and 'The God Father' was determined to find him one, this all being part of his spiral guidance of-course.

My main dog Ming has slowly been losing interest in chasing deer, even though they are getting as thick as rabbits around here, and besides she's a little fat to boot at the moment, (along with her owner), I thought if I can just keep all the other bitches on leads, with her out finding we might just have a chance this year.

Up at 5.30 a little yoga, I then woke Xavier and Shaun up, some breakfast, we then let the dogs off, and collared them all up.

 Down to the boat and away to a likely spot. Shaun dropped me, Xavier and the dogs, Ming, Lu, Puk and Jude on the beach, Ming loose with the others on leads, we'd only been making our way up a likely ridge for a few minutes when I found myself standing in the middle of a bloody big crater, that by the look of it some pig had freshly dug last night, I was staring at a hoof print about as wide as my three middle fingers, thinking "maybe there is a God after all".
 Ming was busy working the area, but not as busy as I'd have liked (later I put this down to all the Stag sign around), we kept climbing up the manuka and five finger covered ridge, but Ming couldn't seem to get a bead on this pig, soon Xavier said "look out" and here was a 8 to 10 point stag coming down towards us, Ming trotting along behind showing little interest, I called her in as the stag crashed off, "but where" I thought, "was this blood pig", we dropped around off the ridge into some native, hoping to pick up a scent, I let Mings Sister Lu have a run around for a while, but she was about as interested as Ming, we circled around and down to the creek where we had stared, this being the only water around, as it's as dry as an Arab's fart out here this year.

This pig must have drunk here, before wandering off to a likely spot to sleep for the rest of the day, I had an idea where he might be, so with all these bloody horny stags running around I will have to do all the work today, we walked back out onto the beach.

Shaun soon came in to picked us up in the boat, then dropped us around into the next bay, me and Xavier started climbing what can only be described as a very steep shitty ridge, dragging ourselves up through the gorse, stumpy Manuka, five finger and fern, I knew things would soon flatten out farther up, where I hoped the Pig was camped up for the day, we kept climbing, after another 100 meters of climbing Ming opened up not more than 50 meters away, "Deer" I thought, more barking, "must be the pig" , so we let the other bailers Lu and Jude loose, soon an almighty scrap could be heard and being so steep I expected the pig to make a run for it, turning to Xavier I said 'stay close behind and whatever you do don't get below the pig', we set off, the holder trying to pull my arm out of it's socket, the bail continued and I could hear the pig blowing and scoffing, not far off, time to let Puk the holder go, she soon arrived as we heard a squeal, which normally means under 100 lb. to me, we soon arrived, Xavier breathing down my neck, Ming, Lu and Puk had the Boar well held on a steep slope, Puk was firmly attached to the Boars front leg, that looked well over 100 lb., Ming and Lu were on the ears, Jude barking up a storm as usual, I turned to find Xavier, he was staring at the scene, eyes as big as saucers, the pig now sensing more trouble had arrived made a break for it down hill, but only got a few meters before the dogs held him again, jumping in grabbing a back leg, then grabbed a front leg, the dogs were slowly pulling me and the pig down the slope, reaching for my knife, and then quickly finding the heart or a main artery, as blood gushed over my hand, I stood up watching the pig stand and stager a few more paces before slumping down the dogs harrying him all the time, Wahoo! he was a beauty, Xavier couldn't stop smiling and I was pretty happy as well, we quickly gutted the pig (which later weighed 147 Ib) and set about dragging him and rolling him down to Dad and the boat.

     Xavier with his first Pig.

The God Father to be continued next Easter.